Got this in an E-mail.

> >DEMOCRATIC You have two cows.
> >Your neighbor has none.
> >You feel guilty for being successful.
> >Barbara Streisand sings for you.
>
> >REPUBLICANISM You have two cows.
> >Your neighbor has none.
> >So?
>
> >SOCIALIST You have two cows.
> >The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
> >You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.
>
> >COMMUNIST You have two cows.
> >The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
> >You wait in line for hours to get it.
> >It is expensive and sour.
>
> >CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE You have two cows.
> >You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.
>
> >BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE You have two cows.
> >Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the
> >other, and then pours the milk down the drain.
>
> >AMERICAN CORPORATIONYou have two cows.
> >You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
> >You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are
> surprised
> >when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating
> >you have downsized and are reducing expenses.
> >Your stock goes up.
>
> >FRENCH CORPORATION You have two cows.
> >You go on strike because you want three cows.
> >You go to lunch and drink wine.
> >Life is good.
>
> >JAPANESE CORPORATION You have two cows.
> >You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and
> >produce twenty times the milk.
> >They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
> >Most are at the top of their class at cow school.
>
> >GERMAN CORPORATION You have two cows.
> >You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give
> excellent
> >quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
> >Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.
>
> >ITALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows but you don’t know where they are.
> >While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
> >You break for lunch.
> >Life is good.
>
> >RUSSIAN CORPORATIONYou have two cows.
> >You have some vodka.
> >You count them and learn you have five cows.
> >You have some more vodka.
> >You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
> >The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.
>
> >TALIBAN CORPORATIONYou have all the cows in Afghanistan , which are two.
> >You don’t milk them because you cannot touch any creature’ private parts.
> >You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives
> to
> >milk production but use the money to buy weapons.
>
> >IRAQI CORPORATIONYou have two cows.
> >They go into hiding.
> >They send radio tapes of their mooing.
>
> >POLISH CORPORATIONYou have two bulls.
> >Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.
>
> >BELGIAN CORPORATIONYou have one cow.
> >The cow is schizophrenic.
> >Sometimes the cow thinks he’s French, other times he’s Flemish.
> >The Flemish cow won’t share with the French cow.
> >The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow’s milk.
> >The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
> >The cow dies happy.
>
> >FLORIDA CORPORATIONYou have a black cow and a brown cow.
> >Everyone votes for the best looking one.
> >Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally vote
> >for the black one.
> >Some people vote for both.
> >Some people vote for neither.
> >Some people can’t figure out how to vote at all.
> >Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you think
> is
> >the best-looking cow.
>
> >CALIFORNIA CORPORATIONYou have millions of cows.
> >They make real California cheese.
> >Only five speak English.
> >Most are illegals.
> >Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.