http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Raptor_Red

Raptor Red knows what she likes in a male dancer – slender, muscular limbs, and supple S-curves in neck movement – but she doesn’t know why. She was born with a vague idea of male beauty, an idea that was refined by watching her mother and father. She doesn’t know that these strict standards will help guarantee a mate who will be faster than she and more maneuverable – key assets when lovers hunt together as a team. – Raptor Red (127)

Raptor Red isn’t the ideal mate, if her situation were evaluated by some dispassionate computer. The sister is an obvious liability. Still, the young male is captivated by her. Something about Raptor Red makes him want to hang around, to try to make the pair-bond firm. Raptor Red has been gentle in all her responses to his advances, and he finds that attractive. – Raptor Red (141)

Joy is built in by evolution to keep animals doing what’s good for their genes. – Raptor Red (168)

The Dragons of deviantART: http://news.deviantart.com/article/54839/

Dragons of deviantART (discontinued): http://news.deviantart.com/article/30592/

Dragon Art Treasure Hoard (Feature): http://news.deviantart.com/article/50407/

http://www.fenixdev.net/welcome.php

“A bad start is still a start.” – Tyr FeHazathant

“Fools and thralls talk of good and evil. Their masters think in terms of time and place.” – Tighlia

“Your true strength is not discovered easily, or without grief. Like a desert seed it lies dormant, waiting for the hard rain.” – Lessons of NeStirrath

These are some choice quotes.

The blighters staggered back up the hill, some throwing themselves into the first piece of cover to pant or tend one another’s wounds. The proud Drakwatch had an easier climb, being four-legged, save for the wounded. Nivom stalked right past his injured drakes and started up the hill.

The Copper looked from blighter to drake and back again. Dragons were a superior species in every physical respect. Their scale kept out arrows that felled the blighters, their crests could deflect a fall of stones such as rained down on the blighters at the ford, and their fire terrified even if it did not kill.

But the blighters would not abandon an injured fellow warrior to his fate.

-Dragon Outcast (185-186)

“Two-score dragons,” Nivom said. “Three will come over footsore and give up before they’re out of the Lower World. Two will get into a duel, killing one and leaving the other too wounded to go on. Six will see all the game on the savanna here and decide to spend the season hunting instead of in warfare. One will see a village in the distance, immediately attack, and it will turn out that he just burned out some headman of the king’s and will have to be sent back in disgrace. Four will argue with SiDrakkon about the orders he gives, and return to the Lavadome rather than serve under one they consider inferior to themselves. Two more will quit the first time an arrow goes home; for having shed blood honorably, they will consider their bit in the war over. Of the half-score remaining one will always be too ill to fight, another too cowardly, and a third will fly into a rage and die atop the first tower he sees. Leaving SiDrakkon with three reliable dragons again.” – Dragon Outcast (187)

He wound his neck around hers, squeezed her, then broke it off and looked across and down the river.

“I did enjoy that, however,” she said. “I’m told the Anklenes have some scrolls about how dragons can mate in a river, and it’s like flying. It seems delightfully perverse.”

“We’ll have to find out.”

-Dragon Outcast (252)

Also posted on: http://www.mx-3.com/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?f=21&t=6604

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Page 51 and a few more after that is most of it.

http://forums.vwvortex.com/zerothread?id=3880087&page=51

Update: There is a cleaner summary here:
http://www.parkingenforcementforum.com/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=3

The original thread: http://forums.overclockers.com.au/showthread.php?t=648654

http://boards.adultswim.com/adultswim/board/message?board.id=2&thread.id=24146542

http://www.audiforums.com/m_693578/tm.htm

http://www.miataturbo.net/forum/showthread.php?t=21521

“There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.” – Friedrich Nietzsche

Source: http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Friedrich_Nietzsche

Ms. Brooks, a first grade teacher, was having trouble with one of her Honor students. The teacher asked, “Harry, what’s your problem?” Harry answered, “I’m too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I’m smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!”

Ms, Brooks finally had enough. She took Harry to the principal’s office. While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was.

The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions, he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave himself. She agreed. Harry was brought in, the conditions explained to him, and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: “What is 3 x 3?”
Harry: “9.”

Principal: “What is 6 x 6?”
Harry: “36.”
And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know. The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, “I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade.”

Ms. Brooks says to the principal, “let me ask him some questions.” The principal and Harry both agreed.
Ms. Brooks asks, “What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?”
Harry, after a moment: “Legs.”

Ms. Brooks: “What is in your pants that you have, but I do not have?” The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!
Harry replied: “Pockets.”

Ms. Brooks: “What does a dog do that a man steps into?”
Harry: “Pants.”

Ms, Brooks: “What starts with a ‘C’, ends with a ‘T’, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?”
Harry: “Coconut.”

The principal sat forward in his chair with his mouth hanging open.

Ms. Brooks: “What goes in hard and pink, then comes out soft and sticky?”
The principal’s eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer,
Harry replied, “Bubble gum.”

Ms. Brooks: “What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down, and a dog does on three legs?”
Harry: “Shake hands.”

The principal was trembling.

Ms. Brooks: “What word starts with an ‘F’ and ends in ‘K’ that means a lot of heat and excitement?”
Harry: “Firetruck.”

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, “put Harry in the fifth grade, I got the last Six questions wrong….”

> Subject: Invitation to the 3rd Nigerian 419 e-mail seminar
>
>
> Invitation to the 3rd Nigerian 419 e-mail seminar
> (Sponsored by Western Union)
> To be held at The Sheraton, Lagos with teleconferencing through to The
> Sheraton, Amsterdam
> November 29 – November 30, 2003
>
> GREETINGS !!
>
> I COME TO YOU WITH A SINCERE HEART BELIEVING IN ALMIGHTY GOD THAT YOU WILL
> CONSIDER MY INVITATION AND COME TO HELP AND ALSO BENEFIT FROM ME.
> This letter might surprise you because we have not met neither in person
> nor by correspondence. But I believe it is one day that you get to know
> somebody either in physical or through correspondence. I got your contact
> through some discreet inquiry from the chamber of commerce and industry,
> you and your organization were revealed as being quite astute in private
> entrepreneurship, one has no doubt in your ability to handle a financial
> business transaction.
>
> All delegates are reminded that they should keep this matter highly
> reticent pending the actualization of the seminar. I would want you to
> contact me immediately so that we can proceed with the booking. You should
> please on reply enclose your private telephone, fax number so that we can
> have more confidential correspondence.
>
> Subjects to be covered during the seminar:-
>
> 1 – THE CASE FOR ALL CAPS
>
> This highly controversial subject has divided opinion amongst our
> delegates in previous years. Some, such as Basher Mobutu Sese-Seko, are
> firmly of the belief that using ALL UPPERCASE CHARACTERS lends a certain
> style to their message, whilst some of the more progressive delegates
> believe that this is a style that has now passed its sell-by date. There
> will be a 2 hour debate on the subject with delegates voting on the
> question after the discussion.
>
> 2 – The effectiveness of Religious phrases
>
> A recent survey has shown that 89% of previous delegates continue to
> scatter religious phrases and references to God throughout their
> correspondence. There will be an open-forum discussion on the subject led
> by “Deacon” John Osa of Dove Ministry Inc. All delegates will receive a 14
> page booklet containing the most frequently used psalms.
>
> 3 – “Modalities” – Is it time to stop using this phrase?
>
> If previous seminars are anything to go on this will be one of the most
> hotly debated topics. Champions of the phrase continue to argue that it is
> part of our scamming heritage whilst some of our younger delegates reason
> that, outside of our own circle, it is a totally unknown term.
>
> 4 – How to make those grammatical errors REALLY WORK for you
>
> An in-depth workshop session led by a number of our leading barristers. On
> completion of the session delegates will be able to master the most
> excruciating grammatical savaging of the English language. This haves been
> won of the most poppular seshons in preevyas seminarse -arryve urly two a
> voyde dis appoyntmeant.
>
> 5 – Try to be creative with your story
>
> One of Nigeria’s leading psychologists explores and analyses the success
> rate of various sales pitches including:- The expatriate dying in a tragic
> air-crash, leaving no known relatives, the Ministry of Petroleum official
> who has a fund of millions of dollars through deliberate over-invoicing of
> a project, the Zimbabwean / Sierra Leone orphans who tragically lost their
> highly popular father through gang murder.
>
> Following the psychologist’s analysis one of Nigeria’s most creative
> authors will explore new scenarios that will have the Westerners begging
> to send us more money.
>
>
> 6 – E-mail lists – How to use and sell on
>
> Delegates will be given invaluable advice on how to buy lists of intended
> victims at the lowest cost, use them and sell them on at a profit.
>
>
> 7 – Adobe Photoshop – The modern alternative to
> potato-print forged documents
>
> A hands-on 2 hour tutorial covering the basics in Adobe Photoshop. At the
> end of the session delegates will have learned how to produce
> professional-quality forgeries of wills, Central Bank documentation and
> the all-important list of handling and demurrage charges from various
> security companies. Specialist techniques covered will include Government
> official stamps and fake passports.
>
>
> 8 – The Way Forward – How to set up a fake on-line bank
> website quickly and cheaply
>
> An explanation of the benefits of using today’s technology to convince
> your victims that the bank really exists and to use this technology to
> withdraw money from their accounts in the shortest possible time. All
> delegates will be entitled to a 10% discount when using the
> course-approved webmasters.
>
>
> 9 – Internet e-mail accounts
>
> Exploring the advantages of rapidly setting up
> multiple e-mail accounts with:-
> Hotmail, Yahoo, Netscape, EC Plaza, Rediffmail,
> Indiatimes, Phantomemail, Zwallet and many
> others.
> (Also includes how to avoid common mistakes such as
> using one name at the start of the e-mail
> message and signing off with another name.)
>
> Book today to avoid disappointment.
> Delegate numbers will be strictly limited to the first 15,000 applicants.
>
> Send your Western Union payment of $750 to Scam-Masters Inc, 14 Ikoge
> Lane, Apapa, Lagos
>
> Test Question:-Why, Test Answer:-Why Not
>
> No bookings will be confirmed until a scanned copy of the Western Union
> receipt and Control Number has been received and verified. (No forged
> receipts please)
>
> Yours in God’s Vineyard
>
> Barrister Wotta Ripoff (President, Scam-Masters Inc)
>
> Alternative Reply No. 1
>
> Read this out loud and repeat it until it becomes fixed in your tiny
> brain.
> (I’ve even put it in CAPITALS so you can understand it)
>
> I AM A NO GOOD 419 SCAMMER.
> I AM A LIAR, A CHEAT AND A THIEF.
> IF I WERE A REAL MAN I’D HAVE A REAL JOB.
> I AM A NO GOOD 419 SCAMMER.
>
>
>
> Alternative Reply No. 2
>
> TO: benwilliam2000@netscape.net
> FROM: JOHN JACOB JINGLEHEIMER SCHMIDT
> SUBJECT: YOUR LETTER
>
> SIR,
>
> MR. HONORABLE BENJAMIN WILLIAMS
>
> IT IS WITH GREAT URGENT AND CONFIDENTIAL REPLYING THAT I UNDERTAKE TO
> BEGIN THE OPENING OF A BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN US ON THE SUBJECT OF
> THE SOLICITATION OF ASSISTANCE WITH THE MUTUALLY BENEFICIAL TRANSACTION TO
> WHICH YOU REFER IN THE COMMUNICATION I HAVE RECENTLY RECEIVED FROM
> YOURSELF, Q.V. CC ET SEQ.
>
> THE FUND YOU SPEAK OF, IN THE DIPLOMATIC SECURITY COMPANY VAULT, IS OF
> GREAT INTEREST TO ME SINCE MY RECENTLY DEPOSED BROTHER-IN-LAW, ERSTWHILE
> SHOESHINE BOY TO THE ONE-TIME INTERNATIONAL PIE-EATING CHAMPION’S THIRD
> COUSIN TWICE REMOVED BY MARRIAGE, SANNI “ANDCHER” ABACHA, WHO IN RECENT
> COMMUNICATION THROUGH HIS ESTRANGED YET ENVIABLY AND ASTONISHINGLY LIMBER
> EX-MISTRESS AND JAI-ALAI COACH, MS. MARY CATHERINE GALLAGHER, REPORTEDLY
> REVEALED THE EXISTENCE OF AN EVEN MORE SECRET CONTRACT FOR DELIVERY OF
> SHAREHOLDER VALUE ON THE REVERSE-SPLIT OTCBB FUTURES CONTRACT FOR SEGWAY
> HUMAN TRANSPORTERS, THEMSELVES OF COURSE THE PRODUCT OF A PREVIOUS
> GOVERNMENT CONTRACT CUNNINGLY PADDED BY HIS MINIONS, IS NOW DEAD AS YOU
> KNOW.
>
> I AM PREPARED TO UNDERTAKE THIS TRANSACTION IMMEDIATELY AT SUCH TIME AS
> YOU AND YOUR ASSOCIATES HAVE PREPARED THE NECESSARY DOCUMENTATION AND
> MODALITIES TO SUFFICIENTLY INDUCE, COMPEL, AND INCENT THE INVOLVED
> PARTIES, HEREAFTER REFERRED TO AS “THEM,” TO FORTHWITH AND HERETOFORE
> ABDICATE ANY AND ALL CLAIM TO SAID FUNDS SUCH AS THEM MAY HAVE PREVIOUSLY
> THOUGHT THEM-SELVES ENTITLED BY DINT OF EXTREME CORRUPTION, FAMILIAL
> RELATIONS, OR SIMPLY HAVING TOO MUCH TIME ON THEIR HANDS.
>
> AS I AM SURE THIS PRESENTS NO PROBLEM, I LOOK FORWARD TO YOUR PROMPT
> RESPONSE.
>
> SINCERELY,
>
> JOHN JACOB JUNGLEHEIMER SCHMIDT III, PHD, ESQ.
>
>
>
> Alternative Reply No. 3
>
> DEAR SIR/DIRECTOR/CEO:
> DEAREST IN GOD’S VINEYARD
> MY NAME IS SPOOF PISSTAKER. IN 1991 MY COUNTRY WAS INVADED, MY CAR WAS
> REPOSSESSED, AND MY WIFE WAS WIDOWED IN OUR ANNUAL CIVIL WAR. THIS YEAR I
> AM TAKING OUT A NINE MILLION DOLLAR (U.S. $9,000,000) FREE DISCOUNT
> MORTGAGE FINANCED ON MY EMPIRE OF HERBAL VIAGRA AND LESBIAN TEEN PORN
> BUSINESSES. THIS MESSAGE MAY COME AS A SURPRISE TO YOU; I GOT YOUR ADDRESS
> FROM A LIST OF REPUTABLE BUSINESSES AND ELIGIBLE SPEED SEDUCTION BACHELORS
> IN NIGERIA. WE WANT A RELIABLE PERSON TO TRANSFER MY FAMILY’S $9,000,000
> (NINE MILLION UNITED STATES DOLLARS) IN BREAST AND PENIS ENHANCEMENTS TO
> THE SANCTITY OF A THIRD WORLD BANK ACCOUNT.
> MY WEALTH RESULTED FROM AN AMAZING MULTI LEVEL MARKETING SCAM IN WHICH I
> OFFER THAT YOU MAY PARTICIPATE. BY ASSISTING MY HUMBLE FARMING AND
> GOVERNMENT CORRUPTION FAMILY IN TRANSFERING OUR BREAST AND PENIS DEVICES
> YOU BECOME ELIGIBLE FOR THE NIGERIAN OVERSEAS LOTTERY, WITH A TOP PRIZE OF
> FIFTY MILLION LASER PRINTER TONER CARTRIDGES OF YOUR CHOICE. YOU TOO CAN
> BECOME AN INTERNATIONAL SHIPPING AND BRIBERY MAGNATE !!!
> *** Real Celebrities! Real Neuticles! See Yourself as Naked as Them!
> ***http://spam-lick-lollipop.com/privacy-thief.php?your@address.here
> IF WE REACH AN AGREEMENT WITH NO DISAPPOINT ON YOUR PART, YOU WILL PROVIDE
> UNTO US YOUR BANK ACCOUNT NUMBER, SOCIAL SECURITY / IDENTITY NUMBER, AND
> FIRST BORN BABY KITTEN. I WILL REQUIRE AN ADVANCE FEE OF FIFTY INFLATABLE
> LOVE SHEEP AND FORTY POUNDS OF HUMAN GROWTH HORMONE TO COVER THE BRIBERY
> OF OUR MINISTRY OF DISCOUNT PILLS. I WILL THEN EFT TRANSFER NINE MILLION
> DOLLARS IN BREAST IMPLANTS AND HOMOSEXUAL WOMEN TO YOUR ACCOUNT.
> CHALLENGE YOURSELF TO THE INTERNATIONAL AFRICAN TRADERS’ GUILD ONLINE
> CASINO! HTTP://WWW.SCAM-ME-HARDER.COM/TRACKING.PHP?FRAUDSTER-O-RAMA&11A3
> < HTTP://WWW.SCAM-ME-HARDER.COM/TRACKING.PHP?FRAUDSTER-O-RAMA&11A3> THESE
> ARE REAL FARM GIRLS GETTING DIRTY WITH AFRICAN OIL BUREAUCRATS !!!
> YOU WILL FORWARD 50% PERCENT OF THE TRANSFERED IMPLANTS TO MY COUSIN, IVA
> TWAT IN PENSACOLA FLORIDA. 10% PERCENT WILL BE USED TO PAY THE PIPER. YOU
> WILL KEEP THE OTHER 40% PERCENT AS YOUR TRANSFER FEE AND REWARD FOR
> CLICKING THE MONKEY.
> THIS MESSAGE IS NOT “ SPAM ”. IT IS DELIVERED IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE
> GALACTIC SENATE BILL 1618 REGULATING THE FREE TRADE IN ELECTRONIC PENIS
> AND FREE VACATION BONUS. YOU OR SOMEONE YOU LOVE ” OPTED IN ” TO THESE
> SPECIAL OFFERS. YOU TOO CAN SEDUCE HUNDREDS OF WILLING TEENAGE LESBIANS AT
> HOME !!! IN YOUR SPARE TIME !!!
> *** Earn FREE AIRLINE MILES by STUFFING ENVELOPES !!! Or NAKED WIVES !!!
> FORWARD THIS MESSAGE TO FIVE OF YOUR BEST AND MOST TRUSTED BUSINESS
> ASSOCIATES — DO NOT BREAK THE CHAIN — AND YOU WILL RECEIVE PERFECT LUCK
> AND PERFECT SEX !!! JOHN WHORFIN OF GROVERS MILL NEW JERSEY BROKE THE
> CHAIN, AND HE DIED THE NEXT DAY OF ACUTE PENIS REMOVAL !!! CHAINSAW
> *** THIS IS NOT A JOKE *** THIS IS NOT A HOAX *** DELETING THIS EMAIL
> *** WITHOUT CLICKING THROUGH TO THREE ADVERTISING LINKS CONSTITUTES A
> *** VIOLATION OF THE FIRST AMENDMENT *** AND FRAUD *** EAT YOUR SPAM OR
> *** WE WILL LAWSUITE YOU *** HARD *** HARDER *** OH YES YES *** BOY ***
> TO UNSUBSCRIME FROM THIS FABULOUS AND MIND BLOWING SEX OFFER, PLEASE CLICK
> ONCE (DO NOT DOUBLE CLICK) ON THE LINK BELOW. PLEASE ADVISE THAT THESE
> SPECIAL OFFERS ARE ONE TIME OFFERS AND WILL NOT DISCONTINUE.
> THIS TRANSACTION IS 189% RISK FREE AND ALL MODALITIES ARE IN PLACE
> Unsubscrime
> YOURS SINCERELY
> MR SPOOF PISSTAKER
> DISCOUNT PETROLEUM AND PENIS OF NIGERIA, INC.
> LAGOS, NIGERIA 419
>
>
>
> Alternative Reply No. 4
>
> Dear [name of recipient - usually a nice Nigerian person]
>
> I send salutations from my country, the sovereign nation of [choose from
> -(a) Tootooland, (b) Antarctica, (c) Gondwanaland, (d) Atlantis].
>
> Now that I have carefully read your email, I cannot express to you the
> sheer scale of my [... -(a) incredulity, (b) incredulation, (c)
> incredibleness, (d) surprise].
>
> I instantly considered your intentions to be [...-(a) very 'truthful', (b)
> very 'valid', (c) very 'totally believable', (d) very 'transparent'].
>
> This is indeed a miracle. You actually chose little old me out of all the
> hundreds of millions of the world’s other [...-(a) dummies (b)
> know-nothings, (c) suckers, (d) people].
>
> However, I must respectfully decline your very kind offer, as I am already
> deliriously rich, due to my being [...-(a) an Iraqi oil magnate, (b) a
> former Enron chief executive, (c) an internet tycoon, (d) a school
> teacher].
>
> I visited your beautiful country recently. I’m probably mistaken, but I am
> sure I saw your name on [...-(a) an honours list, (b) a rich list, (c) a
> shopping list, (d) a death list].
>
> Anyway, I was so excited, I went out and purchased [...-(a) your national
> airline, (b) a mountain range, (c) four oil refineries, (d) a glass of
> milk].
>
> So you see, kind [Sir/Madam], I have very little use for the US$[amount
> stated in email] that you are asking me to look after. There is simply no
> more room left in my already overstuffed Swiss bank accounts.
>
> Now, I have just had a wonderful thought. Perhaps I could be of more
> assistance to YOUR fellow [...-(a) accountants, (b) country-folk, (c)
> freedom fighters, (d) inmates].
> Listen: why not simply provide me with all YOUR details (including bank
> account numbers, PIN numbers etc) and I will deposit heaps of lovely money
> into your account? There is no need for references as I trust you
> implicitly: after-all, you obviously have faith and trust in me.
>
> Yours ever sincerely,[...-(a) Dr B. S. Hit, (b) Mrs I. B. Rong, (c) Mr U.
> R. Suktin, (d) Professor Icon Yewz]
>
>
>
> Alternative Reply No. 5
>
> DEAR SIR/MADAM
>
> GREETINGS TO YOU FROM THIS SIDE OF THE ATLANTIC.
>
> I KNOW THIS LETTER WILL COME AS A SHOCK TO YOU AS WE HAVE NOT MET EACH
> OTHER BEFORE OR INDEED HAD ANY CORRESPONDENCE BUT I FELT GUIDED BY THE
> HAND OF GOD TO SEND YOU THIS MESSAGE. (HE MOVES IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS HIS
> WONDERS TO PERFORM)
>
> MY NAME IS FANNY TOSSPOT THE ONLY DAUGHTER OF TOTAL TOSSPOT THE MOST
> POPULAR JELLY AND CUSTARD WRESTLER IN ENGLAND. MY FATHER WAS MYSTERIOUSLY
> POISONED BY SOME OF HIS ENEMIES IN THE JELLY AND CUSTARD WRESTLING WORLD
> AND SPENT DAYS IN AGONY AT THE LOCAL HOSPITAL BEFORE HE PASSED WIND (AND
> AWAY). MAY HIS GENTLE SOUL REST IN PERFECT PEACE
>
> MY FATHER HOLD ME SO DEAR THAT ON HIS DEATHBED HE CONFIDED IN ME THAT HE
> HAD A GREAT FORTUNE (TOTALLING �43.90) WHICH HE HAD TAKEN FROM HIS ARCH
> RIVAL AND JELLY AND CUSTARD WRESTLING WORLD CHAMPION WILLY WANKER. IN
> ORDER TO SAFEGUARD THIS TREASURE FROM HIS ENEMIES MY DEAR FATHER ARRANGED
> FOR IT TO BE SENT BY DIPLOMATIC COURIER OUT OF ENGLAND TO A SAFE PLACE IN
> NIGERIA.
>
> FOLLOWING MY FATHER’S UNTIMELY DEMISE MY MOTHER STARTED DRINKING IN A BIG
> WAY AND TAKING UP WITH MUCKY MEN WITH A PENCHANT FOR FERRET RACING. SHE
> WAS LAST SEEN SEARCHING WITH HER TONGUE FOR A LOST FERRET DOWN ONE OF HER
> MENFRIEND’S INCREDIBLY TIGHT TROUSERS. UNFORTUNATELY THE FERRET MISTOOK
> HER TONGUE FOR A FEMALE FERRET AND PROCEEDED TO GIVE IT A GOOD SHAGGING.
> THAT FERRET MY FRIEND WAS INFECTED WITH GONORRHOEA, SYPHILIS, HALITOSIS,
> BUNIONS AND HAEMORRHOIDS AND CONSEQUENTLY MY DEAR MOTHER WAS TAKEN BY THE
> GOOD LORD TO JOIN MY FATHER.
>
> I AM ALL ALONE NOW APART FROM MY 14 YEAR OLD BROTHER DICK TOSSPOT WHO HAS
> INHERITED MY FATHER’S GENITAL WARTS BUT NOT UNFORTUNATELY HIS JELLY AND
> CUSTARD WRESTLING SKILLS.
>
> AS I AM ONLY 17 AND TECHNICALLY STILL A VIRGIN I CANNOT OPEN A BANK
> ACCOUNT IN NIGERIA WITHOUT PROVIDING PROOF OF MY FATHER’S DEATH AND HIS
> DEATH CERTIFICATE WAS CHEWED UP, SWALLOWED AND REGURGITATED BY OUR PET
> DUCK-BILLED PLATYPUS. THIS IS WHY I IMPLORE YOU TO ASSIST ME IN
> TRANSFERRING THE MONEY TO A SAFE BANK ACCOUNT IN NIGERIA.
>
> ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS OPEN A BANK ACCOUNT IN YOUR NAME AND I WILL ARRANGE
> WITH MY LAWYER, MR P.D O’FILE, TO MAKE ALL NECESSARY TRANSACTIONS WITH THE
> SECURITY COMPANY SO THAT MY FATHER’S FORTUNE CAN BE TRANSFERRED TO THAT
> ACCOUNT.
>
> PLEASE BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY THAT THIS IS A TOTALLY 100% RISK-FREE, LEGAL
> TRANSACTION AND THAT ALL MODALITIES ARE IN PLACE.
>
> ALL THAT IS REQUIRED FROM YOU IS TOTAL SECRECY, YOUR BANK SORT CODE AND
> ACCOUNT NUMBER, A COPY OF THE FIRST 23 PAGES OF YOUR PASSPORT, AN
> INDICATION OF YOUR MARITAL STATUS, THE SIZE OF YOUR TODGER AND YOUR INSIDE
> LEG MEASUREMENT PLUS OF COURSE YOUR TELEPHONE NUMBERS (LAND LINE AND
> MOBILE) TOGETHER WITH YOUR FAX NUMBER AS MY LAWYER WILL NEED TO SEND YOU A
> LOT OF COLOURFUL AND CONVINCING DOCUMENTATION.
>
> WITH THESE DETAILS WE WILL BE ABLE TO CONCLUDE THE TRANSACTION WITHIN 10
> DAYS AND WE WILL BOTH BE RICH BEYOND OUR WILDEST DREAMS.
>
> I HAVE DISCUSSED THIS MATTER WITH MY BROTHER AND WE HAVE AGREED TO GIVE
> YOU 22.391% OF THE TOTAL FORTUNE FOR ASSISTING US. (THAT’S �9.83 IN
> ENGLISH MONEY BUT PROBABLY A LOT MORE IN NAIRA). 5% WILL BE SET ASIDE FOR
> ANY EXPENSES AND THE REMAINDER WILL FUND MY BROTHER’S EDUCATION.
>
> PLEASE DO NOT ABANDON MY BROTHER AND ME IN OUR HOUR OF NEED BUT REPLY TO
> ME URGENTLY SO THAT WE CAN START THE MOVEMENT OF THESE FUNDS.
>
> YOURS IN THE HOPE OF EVERLASTING PLATITUDES.
>
> REMAIN BLESSED
>
> FANNY TOSSPOT (FOR THE FAMILY)
>
> PS AS SECURITY IS NECESSARY YOU MAY FIND THAT I HAVE TO KEEP ON CHANGING
> MY EMAIL ADDRESS BUT DO NOT CONCERN YOURSELF ON THIS MATTER AS I AM NOW
> USED TO IT.
>
>
>
> Alternative Reply No. 6
>
> Just send him here:- http://www.personaldetails.freeserve.co.uk
>
> (with thanks to Shiver Metimbers)